


white and gold and red

by keyringkie



Series: their blessing, his burden [7]
Category: Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - Gods & Goddesses, Deity Phil Watson (Video Blogging RPF), Deity Technoblade (Video Blogging RPF), Deity TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), Deity Wilbur Soot, Gen, but it's fine, don't know how much sense this makes, tommy and tubbo centric
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-05
Updated: 2021-03-05
Packaged: 2021-03-18 08:53:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,435
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29855628
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/keyringkie/pseuds/keyringkie
Summary: “Did you just come from a hole in the wall?”"Um- What- Um-"“Am I… not supposed to be able to see you?”“Uh, not really sure at this point. What’s your name?”They grin at him. “I’m Tubbo! Who’re you?”Tommy grins, ruffling Tubbo’s hair. “You can call me, uh, Tom, big man.”Becoming a god is never easy. Time passes, pain does not. Watching the one mortal you dared to love die hurts.white and gold, for the visions he had.red, for the blood on his arms.
Relationships: No Romantic Relationship(s), This is all platonic - Relationship
Series: their blessing, his burden [7]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2028108
Comments: 8
Kudos: 106





	white and gold and red

He splays his fingers across his skin, peering down at his own body. Shifting slightly reveals that the scars he had in mortality remain with him, splotches and cuts of pale white and pink littering his arms. Sighing, he tugs his jacket back on, letting the sleeves engulf his skin again.

Tommy picks up the strange black crown he was wearing when he first ended up back home, examining it again. Phil explained to him that it was likely an indicator of his “domain,” whatever the hell that meant. Further inspection of the simple laurel reveals nothing new, black metal leaves strangely hot to the touch and golden veins traced expertly into the metal.

He throws it across the room, sighing as he feels it settle on his head before it can clatter to the ground. Stupid godhood. (It’s not so dumb, if he’s honest. Loads better than whatever he was doing before.)

Wilbur nearly spat out his water the first time he saw Tommy try to get rid of the thing, apologizing briefly to the table afterwards for hitting it so hard.

_ “You can’t get rid of the things, they’re like- cursed or something.” _

_ “How come Phil-” _

_ “Wings, dude. I’m pretty sure he’s got a stupid crown too, lucky for you.” _

_ “Techno…?” _

_ Wilbur shrugs. “Pretty sure the crown he has isn’t from any other higher powers.” _

_ “You?” _

_ Wilbur stares at him silently for a moment before rolling up one of his sleeves. Tommy winces slightly at the golden bracelets and the scarred skin, twisting wires pressing tightly against his arm. _

_ Rolling his sleeve back down, Wilbur shrugs. “You get used to shit like that. I think as long as you keep the crown on your person you should be fine. Phil usually just tapes it to the inside of his hat for extra support or something.” _

_ “He- how did he even-” _

_ He takes another sip of his water, shrugging. “Philza Minecraft.” _

Tommy stretches as he exits his room, making a beeline for the door and swinging up the ladder.

He emerges from his little island into the main monument, shutting the trapdoor behind him. He shakes out his hands before he starts down the hall, turning into the main entrance quickly enough.

There, he neatly swerves out of the way of a sprinting Wilbur, Phil not far behind.

“Morning Tommy!”

“Morning Phil.”

Wilbur screams as he runs by, Tommy cackling as the two round a corner.

“GET BACK HERE YOU BITCH!”

It’s been six months since he came home. Six months since he woke up in a back-closet in the monument and found Wilbur, who found Phil, who found Techno. Six months since he broke down crying with the three of them around him and he finally felt at  _ peace _ .

Phil reassured him that whatever the hell happened at the In-Between was normal, and then sheepishly explained that he thought it was a fever dream from growing in his wings. Tommy had a good laugh about that. He’s just glad he’s not the only one to have “ascended.” Wil’s one of if not the oldest god in existence, and Techno.. uh, Tommy doesn’t really know, but he’s pretty sure the dude’s old as hell.

He leaps off the entrance of the sea temple, slowly drifting towards the ground. He uses his momentum to land in the general direction of the gates, having saved a good fifteen minute’s walk by gliding. (Wilbur called him a chicken for his little slow falling ability. He is  _ not _ a fucking  _ cock _ thank you very much.)

Stretching out his arms, he turns to take a slightly longer way around, a short detour to pass through his favorite bit of the afterlife. 

He wanders through the dwindling city, crossing rickety wooden bridges across half a dozen islands, the buildings slowly growing more and more sparse. He bounds off the last of the land, skipping the bridge entirely and catching himself in the vines. He tangles his fingers between the greenery and climbs up onto the final exit of the afterlife, practically skipping as he yanks the gates open-

Techno slams into him, full force.

“Oh, jesus fuckin’ christ, man-”

“L.”

The war god helps him to his feet, sighing. “Are you okay?”

Tommy gestures to his bleeding nose with a sarcastic smile on his face. “Perfectly perfect, big man. See you!”

“Tommy-”

He skips out the gates and listens to them clang shut behind him, Techno’s complaints silenced behind their magic. He wipes his nose with a sleeve, scowling. It’ll stop in a minute, he’ll just ride it out. Not like anybody’s gonna see him.

“Did you just come from a hole in the wall?”

He jumps a good five feet in the air, slowly falling down like the piece of shit his body is. There’s a kid, about like- four maybe? They tilt their head at him, brown hair falling into ocean blue eyes. Tommy widens his eyes.

“Uh- What- Um-”

“Why do you have that weird crown on your head?”

Tommy tilts back his head, still staring at the kid questioningly. “You can see me?”

“Don’t do that, it’s not good for nosebleeds. Pinch your nose like- this!”

The kid grins at him behind his hand, pinching the bridge of his own nose. Tommy sighs and obliges, copying whatever’s going on.

“Am I… not supposed to be able to see you?”

“Uh, not really sure at this point. What’s your name?”

They grin at him. “I’m Tubbo! Who’re you?”

Tommy grins, ruffling Tubbo’s hair. “You can call me, uh, Tom, big man.”

The kid- Tubbo sniffs, glancing back behind him. “You seem nice.”

“Is that so?”

“Mhm! I have to go though.” His voice lowers to a whisper, Tommy leaning in.

“I was s’pposed to be getting something, but I kinda forgot what my dad told me to get.”

Tommy laughs, watching as Tubbo goes scurrying off into the forest. He disappears around a bend in the path. Tommy stares at the empty space for a moment almost expectantly, half-hoping the kid would come back.

He turns and glances back at the gates for a minute before he continues off into fuck-all-knows-where, making a note to talk about this to the others later. They’d know more than he does anyway.

“You-  _ heh? _ ”

“I told you already, he’s an interesting kid.”

Phil hums from his desk, sketching out his plans for whatever new project he’s working on. “Did you sense any blessing? They’re usually quite easy to see.”

Tommy taps his arm. “No, that’s the  _ thing _ . It was fuckin’ weird. He’s like- I’m pretty sure he’s just a normal kid.”

“Normal kids don’t see gods.”

“Oh, shut the fuck up  _ Technoblade _ . Maybe I’m just  _ built different _ .”

Wilbur attempts to hold back his laughter before he starts losing it, Techno’s disgusted expression not helping him stop.

“To be fair, he did just become one of us. He’s been here the whole time too, maybe it’s.. different?”

“Thank the universe that you exist Phil, I would not be able to survive with these idiots.”

“I’M RIGHT HERE YOU FUCKER-”

“Not so loud, the spirits are sleeping.”

“THERE IS QUITE LITERALLY NOBODY FOR MILES-”

“Tommy there’s literally a community building thirty feet from here and you are extremely loud.”

“Pussies.”

“Tommy they literally  _ died _ -”

“Yeah fuck you, so did I, they’re not special-”

“Tommy please-”

“Shut up  _ old man _ .”

“Can we please talk about the kid?”

“Thank you, Techno.” Phil sighs, setting down his quill. “I know you’re gonna visit him again-”

Tommy lets out a nervous laugh. “No, of course I wouldn’t-”

“-so do you wanna take Wilbur with you sometime? It’d be interesting to see if he can see him too.”

Tommy shrugs. “Maybe. I don’t wanna bother Tubbo too much though. He shouldn’t have to deal with all the hero bullshit.”

Phil frowns at him, shuffling aside a few loose papers. He opens a book beside him and jots something down absently. “So you’re not gonna give him your blessing?”

“Phil, I’ve  _ literally _ been a god for like six months, calm down will you?”

Phil laughs, waving him off. “Just a thought. Putting it out there.”

Tommy rolls his eyes, looking towards the spot Wilbur was a minute ago. Off to the Nook, he explained. “Yeah, I don’t exactly know what kind of future it would give him, but it’s not one I’d want to see him go through. He seems like a good kid, I just- ugh.”

“You don’t want to give him a shit life.”

“Yeah, pretty much.”

Phil exhales knowingly. “Visiting a regular mortal isn’t giving them a normal life, Tommy.”

“I know that!!! It’s just- why are you lot looking at me like that?”

The trio of gods around him stare at him with saddened eyes, each knowing from personal experience what exactly Tommy’s going through. The love and the loss. The temporary joy.

“Just- be careful, alright Toms?”

Tommy scoffs, shoving his hands in his pockets. He scuffs his shoe on the floor. “Don’t worry, Wil. You’re literally going with me.”

“Well, I- I know that, but… still.”

Tubbo isn’t sure what to make of the man who visits.

It’s always unpredictable when he comes - sometimes he’ll be there a few days in a row, other times months will pass without seeing him.

It’s a strange routine, but one he welcomes nonetheless. Over time, he’s realized that his dad can’t see Tom, or Wil. He doesn’t really care too much though, even if those weird hallucinations he gets are worse after Tom leaves. He faints a lot and his head is always throbbing, his vision swimming with glimpses of things that couldn’t be real.

He’s honestly still not sure if Tom and Wil are real.

His dad looked like he went pale the first time Tubbo told him about the two, so he sort of just… stopped telling him. He’s thirteen! He could be able to handle himself by now, even if his dreams feel too real to just be fantasy and his fainting spells make his eyes burn.

He sits in the garden, watching the bees slowly float by. The dirt is warm on his hands, the sun gently shining down in the midmorning sky. The flowers bend to a breeze he can barely feel.

“Hey Tubbo!”

He glances up and grins, patting the ground next to him. “Hi Tom! I haven’t seen you in a while.”

Tom settles next to him, shifting as he crosses his legs below him. “Yeah, haven’t been able to visit. Sorry about that.”

Tubbo laughs, gently picking a few flowers. His fingers begin to weave a flower crown, a mindless habit after making hundreds in so many years. “I’m just glad to see you.”

Tommy grins, running his fingers through the grass. “It’s nice to see you too, big man. How’ve you been?”

Tubbo hesitates a second. “You know those headaches I keep telling you about? And like, the weird dreams that I seem to remember?”

“Mhm. Why, what’s up?”

“Like- I had this weirdly nice one about you visiting. And the weather’s perfect, so is.. so is your reaction. This feels like deja vu?”

Tom is silent for a moment, confusion rippling through his face.

“Hm.. weird. Your dreams seem to have a weird habit of being- like, right.”

Tubbo shrugs. “Maybe it’s all a coincidence?”

“Maybe.” There’s something written across Tom’s face, but Tubbo brushes it off. It’s nothing. Probably. Right?

He smiles and sets the flower crown on Tom’s head. “Look! It doesn’t really match your own crown, but-”

“I love it, Tubbo.”

Surely, it’s nothing.

“Is Tubbo like- normal? Is that normal?”

Wilbur exhales slowly, stretching his fingers. “Um. Well, have you ever seen him during one of his fainting spells?”

Tommy pauses for a second, thinking. “Uh, not really sure. I think I have? He told me they usually happen a little after I leave, though.”

“What was he- did anything seem, like, off?”

“His whole head- like, his eyes or some shit? I think they were glowing, but it might’ve been the lighting.”

“Did they- hold on, I’m gonna go check something.”

Wilbur vanishes in this air. Tommy sighs, letting himself relax onto the couch. A campfire crackles cheerfully, dancing firelight illuminating the dim wooden house. Oak plank floors are hidden beneath dull red carpet, soft on his feet. Wil reappears a few seconds later, looking frazzled.

“Well?”

Wilbur sighs, flopping onto the couch next to Tommy. “He’s- fuck, how much can I say… whatever, logically Phil could probably tell you so I’m sure it’s fine.” He clasps his hands on his chest, staring at the ceiling for a moment of silence.

“Tubbo’s a seer.”

“Well, no shit, he’s not blind.”

“Not like-” Wilbur sighs. “You know how his eyes get all, uh- like glowy and shit?”

“Yeah, I- yeah.”

“Glows white and gold, yeah?”

“Yes?”

“He gets like- glimpses of the future during those. Or the past. Basically just sifts through bits of time. He’s an anomaly, that’s for sure.”

“So it’s like- like your thing with the Nook?”

Wilbur considers this for a second, tilting his hand slightly. “Ehh, a bit? The futures he sees are usually cemented, and honestly his visions are really limited. It’s like the universe takes the most probable futures from the Web and just shoves them into his head. Not fun. There’s kind of a reason seers are rare.”

Tommy winces. “So… no normal life for him?”

“Mhm. He’s gifted by the universe, so uh- not likely. It’s why he can see us.”

“Right, he’s- ‘seer.’ Can literally- gotcha. The headaches?”

“That’s his normal body trying to cope with the whole universe-shoving-visions-in-his-head thing. He’ll either build more tolerance over the years or he’ll, ah- he’ll kick the bucket?”

Tommy shudders. “He’ll just- he’ll just come here, right?”

He waves towards the windows, where beyond the rushing waterfalls from the temple above them lies the afterlife, sprawling in all its glory.

Wilbur hesitates for a beat too long.

“See, the thing with seers is that- they don’t… die normally. Most mortals die and that’s the end of it, their souls wander forever and eventually wind up here. Seers…”

Wilbur stares into the fire, refusing to look at Tommy. His fingers tighten against each other. 

“Seers reincarnate. Until they’re born a normal mortal, which could take one cycle or dozens. And even then- even then, their souls lost to time. Only the mortal reincarnation lives on as a spirit.”

It’s quiet.

“Tommy…?”

“I’m fine, big guy. Perfectly fine.”

Wilbur touches Tommy’s shoulder gently, pulling him into a hug.

“I’m sorry, Toms.”

He hiccups, wiping his face to brush away tears that won’t flow.

“I don’t want to lose him. It’s not- that’s not fair.”

“My dad said that there’s a war coming.”

Tommy clambers up another branch, swinging his leg and reaching for another branch. “Really?”

“Mhm. I saw it too.” Tubbo winces, sucking in a breath. “Not… it’s not gonna be pretty.”

“War’s never fuckin’ pretty. It’s pointless.”

Tommy scowls, shimmying up a little further on the tree. Tubbo glances up at him from the floor.

“Do you know from.. experience?”

He pauses for a minute at the question before he teeters off the tree and lands gracefully beside Tubbo, falling down to sit next to him under the shade.

“A little bit, yeah.”

“I told my dad one of your stories again, that one about the Nether. He sounded tired.”

“Mmm, well, can’t blame your old man for getting tired of their seventeen-year-old talking about his invisible friend.”

Tubbo laughs, leaning into Tommy’s shoulder. “I guess that’s why he keeps telling me to tell you to go away, yeah?”

Tommy scoffs. “As if I’d disappear just like that.”

Tubbo smiles faintly, staring at the sky. “You would if I asked you to though, wouldn’t you.”

It’s not a question. It’s a fact, but Tommy humors him with an answer.

“Course I would, big man. You ask, I deliver.”

“Tom, you have to go.”

Tubbo’s short of breath, holding a cloth to his nose to cover the trickle of blood.

“What- what’dyou mean, I just got here?”

“You have to leave, and- and don’t come back.”

“Woah- fuck-”

Tubbo’s legs collapse beneath him, Tommy there to just barely catch him.

“Fuck’s sake, man. Are you-”

“You need to  _ go _ , Tommy.”

There’s a shock running through his body, and Tubbo gags.

“How did you- what did you call me?”

Tubbo smiles weakly, his free hand finding Tommy’s.

“You’re a hero, Tommy. Of course I’ve heard of you.”

Tubbo exhales shakily, his body going limp. “Heard at the market- fucking hell- heard a story about a guy named Tommy. He sounded just- just like you, didn’t he?”

Tommy cups Tubbo’s face in his hand, brushing a tear away with his thumb.

“Why can’t I stay?”

“You’re a god, Tommy. You- you’re going to hurt a lot of people, and I don’t want to be the reason it happens.”

“I’m going to- what?”

Tubbo smiles weakly, coughing. “Hellfire, man. It’ll be sick.”

Tommy laughs quietly, hugging Tubbo close. “I’m sorry you had to see any of that.”

“It’s fine. ‘M pretty used to it.”

“You’re obviously not, bitch. You’re bleeding. And shaking. And you fell over.”

“...yeah, a little bit.”

“What do you mean, a ‘little bit’- you’re on the floor, you motherfucker-”

Tubbo laughs. “Mhm. You caught me though.”

“And yet you… want me to go?”

A pause.

“Yes.”

“I’ll miss you.”

“I know.”

“You’ll… miss me?”

It’s more of a question than a statement, but Tubbo won’t look Tommy in the eyes.

“I know.”

“Then why-”

“Because, Tommy. Because a lot of things.”

“You won’t tell me?”

“Mmmm. No. If Wil hasn’t told you-”

“-it’s probably not a good idea. But you literally- you see the future! Like, as a mortal! That’s kinda OP. If you’re seeing it, it’s probably fine, right?”

Tubbo sighs. “I don’t think it’s a good idea.”

He squeezes Tommy’s hand. “...You promised to go if I asked you to.”

“You- you remember that?”

“I remember a lot of things.”

“But that was like- like, four years ago?”

“I’m not a kid, Tommy. I know- I think I know what I’m doing.”

Tubbo gently pushes Tommy off of him, standing up and leaning heavily on the wall. He presses the red stained cloth to his face harder, bracing himself.

“Goodbye, Tommy.”

Tommy smiles sadly, standing up. (He doesn’t want to go. He doesn’t want to say goodbye.)

“Goodbye Tubbo.”

“Tub- Tubbo? Please, for fuck’s sake-”

He sobs, curling up on the floor. His hand still clutches Tubbo’s, desperately squeezing and hoping for some response, some sort of sign.

“Tommy…?”

“TUBBO! Please, please don’t die here, I can’t lose you-”

“I thought I told you… to go…”

“I’m sorry, I couldn’t- we couldn’t-”

Tubbo gurgles out a laugh, shutting his eyes.

“I didn’t want you to.. see me like this.”

Tommy laughs in his tears, hysterical. “No, it’ll be- it’ll be fine, you’ll go to the afterlife. I can see you there, right? Fuck, fuck fuck fuck fuck-”

Another sob wracks through his body as he hugs him closer, Tubbo limp in his arms.

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry I’m sorry I’msorryI’msorryI’msorry.”

That he couldn’t save him.

That he didn’t get here in time.

A seer dies too young in the arms of a god, body overrun with magic that he couldn’t handle.

“I’m sorry.”

That he’s lost him.

A hand settles on his shoulder, Wilbur comforting him with sweet nothings that don’t mean anything because Tubbo’s gone.

He can’t see beyond the blur of green and red, crimson blood smearing on his sleeves. He can’t- no, he  _ won’t _ believe this. Good fucking god. He promised- he swore to stay away. Tubbo didn’t want-

He didn’t want this.

“Tommy, we should go.”

He chokes out another sob, clutching Tubbo’s cold hand tighter.

“I left him once, already. I don’t want to- I don’t want-”

“Shh, shh. I know, Toms.”

Wilbur hugs him gently and Tommy practically throws himself into him, crying into his chest.

“Is he really- is he gone?”

Wilbur runs a hand through Tommy’s hair, sighing softly. “Yes.”

Tommy sniffs. “He- he liked bees. And flowers.”

“Mhm.”

“And- and making honey jars to sell at the market, and complaining about his dad.”

“He liked building. He built- built this house. Spent months on it.”

“He liked being with me.”

Wilbur rocks the two of them back and forth, humming softly.

“Why is the universe such a bitch?”

“Because the universe doesn’t care.”

**Author's Note:**

> tubbo is dead crab RAVE
> 
> summary, in case anyone's confused:  
> tommy leaves the afterlife and promptly runs into a kid (tubbo) who can see him, while gods are usually invisible to normal mortals. he gives tubbo a shitty fake name to avoid explaining that he's a god. later, he explains this to wilbur, phil, and techno, and phil makes him bring wilbur the next time he visits. tubbo opens up to tommy about strange visions he's having, which wilbur confirms as visions through time and tubbo as a seer. tubbo reveals he figured out that tommy and wil were gods, and dies from an overload of magic, as his body never adapted to the gift the universe gave him.
> 
> this fic is a hot mess. but i dont care here's tubbo in this au hehe <3
> 
> random fun fact: most of these fics are inspired by specific song lyrics and then renamed afterwards. this one was "ashes, ashes in my arms."
> 
> [tumblr](https://keyring-kieran.tumblr.com/)   
> 


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